I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
Going to this new church, meeting new people, visiting new groups… it seems like a big deal to me.
When I visited the young singles group at this church, I was very disappointed by the lack of hospitality. I received a couple of replies to emails I sent, but I have only received ONE text message that was not initiated by myself.
I have the distinct feeling that I’m not wanted in this group, and that hurts. They have all made it clear to me that during the week, they are sending text messages to each other, following each other on Facebook, and so forth. But not to me.
I am not sure if they are intending to send this negative message or if they are just lazy, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ve never had the opportunity to be involved in a healthy Christian group with people my own age, and I’m a bit sad that this one won’t work either.
Every now and then I will see someone at church, who I recognize from this singles group, who will say hello and even ask me for my email address and promise to email me that week. But they never do.
I went to another group, though, a larger group for adults in general, not just a particular age group or demographic. This group was so different, and it’s almost hard to believe that this is the same church. This group has gone overboard to make me feel welcome. I’ve been welcomed into a smaller group-with-a-group of young and (mostly) single adults. I’ve received emails. I’ve been friended on Facebook. I even had someone stop by my house unannounced! This group celebrated with me when I ran my half marathon. They search for me on Sunday mornings.
I never before realized just how important hospitality is within a church. I speak from experience, now. I know that I want to go where I’m wanted. I know there is a certain human element in that- that we should not desire approval from other people- but very few people can persist in a place where they are not wanted. I’m not one of them. That was why I left my previous church.
Every now and then, when I run into someone from the singles group, I feel a twinge of sadness. I do wish I could experience a healthy Christian group of my peers. But the key word in that is “healthy”. I’m not sure this particular group is a “healthy” group. Obviously it is working for at least a few people- that’s why the group exists. But it will never work for me.
I am thankful, then, that this other, “older” adults group has been a place for me. I am thankful that they welcome me and desire my company. Most of all, I’m thankful for them. I’m thankful that they call me a friend. It’s easy to forget the huge ways our day-to-day actions can change eternity.