Official Music Video

Youtube won’t let me embed the official video so here’s an “unofficial” version.

Verse 1
My past has followed me and
I just can’t get away
I’m not the same as I was
Leaving my disarray

Take me just as I am
I’m broken down
Pull me into Your arms
I’m hanging on to every word

Chorus
Save me from losing myself
I’m hanging on by a thread
Can You see who I am
Underneath my scars?
I’m afraid to fall
So I’m holding on to You
Know I won’t let go
I’m hanging on by a thread

Verse 2
I still can hardly believe
The person I once was
I’m trying so hard to change
Help me work through my flaws

Take me just as I am
I’m calling out
Pull me into Your arms
I’m hanging on to every breath

Chorus

Bridge
I’ll never need
I’ll never want
With You with me
I’m so complete
I’ll never run
I’ll never hide
With You right here I’m safe inside

This has been pretty much a crummy week. Just really really awful.

It feels like I’ve been an emotional/mental/spiritual punching bag this week. So many people in my life have rained down blows. For all intents and purposes, almost all of the people in my life who I consider(ed?) friends have given me a swift kick in the *ahem* rear. Quite frankly I don’t think any of those people realizes what they have done, or even that the way they behaved was wrong, and God forbid any of them apologize for their behavior!

I am exhausted. I just have nothing left to give. I am physically in pain due to all this. My joints are swollen and painful, my head hurts. There’s nothing left.

I can’t even think of much of anything to write. I’m just done. I don’t mean to complain. There’s just nothing there. I have a world of responsibilities to deal with, work that needs to be done, and I sure hope I have enough to do that tomorrow. But right now I’m empty.

I saw your sky fall down today
Suddenly turn from blue to gray
‘Til one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease the pain from you
But I’ve never felt so helpless
It’s like you’re drowning right in front of me
And I’m reaching out but you can’t see
There’s something holding on to you so tight
So I guess this is all I’ll say to you tonight

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here but you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the whys
‘Cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here but you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
‘Cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to
I need you to remember

If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting
Where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you
I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side

*Edit: Stupid copyrights. Can’t find the music, can’t post the music, because the copyright police won’t let me.*

Mordecai: You wanted to know why you became queen.
I tole you God must have a reason.
Perhaps he put you here, for such a time as this.
perhaps This is the reason.

Ester: Tell me why, I don’t understand.
Tell me why, or show me your hand.
Tell me why because I can’t see my way through ~
What now…should I…do ~

The battle is not ours
We look to God above~
For he will guide us safely through
and guard us with his love

I will not be afraid
I will not run and hide~
For there is noting I can’t face
when God is at my side
No, there is nothing I can’t face
when God is at my side

The battle is not ours
We look to God above
For he will guide us safely through
and guard us with his love ~

When did life become so complicated? Tell me why…

I have a sneaking suspicion that tonight, I’ve lost my closest friend. That makes me sad. I’m not going to change who I am or what I believe, and if that means losing her, then so be it… but it still breaks my heart.

Adulthood just ruins us. We become adults, and then we get opinions and we hurt other people and we hurt ourselves. When did we grow up? And how do we stop it?